How to check that someone is real before you meet

Most people on dating sites are exactly who they say they are. Fake profiles still exist, though: someone uses another person's photos to scam, to get attention or because they're too insecure to show themselves. A few quiet checks take about ten minutes and let you go to a first date with a calm mind. You don't have to be a detective, and you don't have to accuse anyone.

Signs worth a closer look

None of these proves anything on its own. Together they're a good reason to check:

• only one or two photos, and all of them look like a magazine shoot — not a single everyday picture;
• the photos look like different people, or the age seems to change from picture to picture;
• very little text, or text that sounds generic, and replies that don't really answer your questions;
• intense attention straight away: compliments, "fate" and big feelings within a few days;
• details that don't add up: they say they live in your city but don't recognise its best-known places, or the story about their job keeps changing;
• an early push to move to another messenger;
• weeks of chatting, but a call is always "not now".

Check the photos: reverse image search

A reverse image search shows where else a photo appears online. It's the quickest way to catch stolen pictures.

1. Take a screenshot of the photo and crop it to the person.
2. Upload it to an image search: Google Lens (the camera icon in Google search or the Google app), Bing Visual Search or TinEye, which is especially good at finding exact copies and the oldest version of a picture.
3. Look at what comes up.

If the same face appears under a different name — in a model's portfolio, on an influencer's account or a stock photo site — the profile isn't real. If nothing turns up, that's normal for an ordinary person: most of us don't have our photos all over the internet. And if you find their own social media under the same name, that's reassuring.

Use what you find only for your own check, and don't share someone's photos anywhere else.

Watch out for generated photos

Faces made by AI are turning up more and more often in fake profiles. Look closely at the details:

• skin that's too smooth, almost like plastic;
• earrings that don't match, glasses that melt into the face, strange ears, teeth or fingers;
• blurry, smeared backgrounds and signs or text you can't read;
• only portrait-style shots, and not one ordinary picture with friends, a pet or a messy kitchen.

These clues get less reliable as the tools improve. That's why the live checks below matter most.

Live checks: a voice message and a video call

• A voice message. On YADate you can send voice messages right in the chat as soon as the other person has replied to you. A voice message that answers your actual question is much harder to fake than a photo.
• A short video call. When you've been talking for a while and want to meet, suggest a five-minute video call in whichever app you're both comfortable with. Someone who is real and interested will find the time. Weeks of excuses — the camera is broken, the internet is bad, "next week for sure" — are a red flag.
• If the video looks strange. Filters that replace a face in real time do exist. Ask the person, in a light way, to wave a hand in front of their face or turn their head to the side: a fake face often glitches at that moment.

Check what they tell you, but don't dig

Notice whether the details stay the same over time: work, city, family, plans. If they've told you their full name, you can see whether a person with that name really lives in their city. Stop there: you're making sure they're real, not investigating their life.

And keep your own details private until you've met and feel you can trust each other: your home address, your workplace, your children's school, anything about your finances.

How YADate helps

• Every photo is reviewed by a moderator before other members can see it, and we notice when the same photo turns up on two profiles.
• Phone numbers and links are held back in the first messages, so a stranger can't pull you into another app straight away.
• The "Verified profile" badge is given by our moderators. It helps, but it isn't a guarantee of who someone is, so the checks above are still worth doing. In search you can choose "Verified only", and under "Who can message me" in the settings you can accept new conversations from verified members only.

If you find a fake

• Don't argue or try to expose the person. They'll simply disappear and try again with someone else.
• Press "Report" in their profile or in the chat, and tick "Also block this person" if you like. Our moderators check every report, and the person won't know who reported them.
• Never send money or intimate photos to someone you haven't met in person, however convincing the story. If you've already sent money, act quickly: our article on how to spot a romance scammer explains what to do.

A real person who is interested in you won't mind a short call. Checking isn't distrust — it's how you get to meet calmly.

Before the date itself, take a look at the safety habits in our first date ideas.